


Healing My Body, With Your Stare

by LoveLetterPolaroids



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt and comfort, M/M, Masturbation, Mentions of Murder, Mutual Pining, Pining, Self Harm, Spanking, Virgin Loki, abusive whipping, set between avengers and age of ultron, slight D/s
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-28 18:42:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11423859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveLetterPolaroids/pseuds/LoveLetterPolaroids
Summary: Thor needs to save Loki from their father's abuse.What starts as a simple plan to get his brother back turns into so much more.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Will update soon! Please leave a comment telling me what you thought of this first chapter <3

"Avengers! How good to have you all here!" Thor exclaimed brightly as he walked into the kitchen.

The Avengers were all sitting around the large table or on a stool at the counter, some with breakfast but most just with a large cup of coffee as it was close to 6 am.

"Thor, you told Jarvis it was urgent." Tony said "half of us would rather be asleep"

"And your voice from the sky was very helpful! It is urgent though. I must return to Asgard, but I would hate to do so if I am needed here" Thor explained

"Asgard? For how long?" Steve asked

"Is everything alright?" Bruce added 

"I'm afraid not. I intend to take Loki out of my father's custody. I do not expect to be gone longer than a few days" Thor promised

"Wait, wait, like... break Loki out of jail? Give me one good reason!" Clint said, louder than usual. Thor had been bringing the Avengers one at a time to speak with Loki, to become acquainted and perhaps see new sides of each other. Clint was still understandably angry at the man though.

"My father has gone too far with his punishment." Thor said solemnly "he intends to have Loki married off, and force him to consummate their marriage. At which point he will be released to his wife" 

Everyone at the table was silent for a minute before Rhodey tentatively spoke "Well... that's not... completely awful, is it? I mean, a lot of people still have arranged marriages, and he might enjoy having sex after so long in prison" 

He understood why the forcing part was so bad, but with the stores, he had heard was it bad enough to justify letting him come back here?

"I don't doubt he would, however, Loki prefers the company of men, and our father means to do this as a way to humiliate him. I will not let him traumatize Loki, nor will I put a woman in his path when he will be angry."

If he was released not only would his wife almost definitely be killed but nobody would be watching to make sure Loki didn't hurt himself or even more Asgardians.

Thor had briefly considered not telling the team of Loki's preferences, but they had all slowly become family, and Thor knew none of them had any trouble with people like Loki, like Thor. Thor was what Steve had once called bisexual, someone who could enjoy the company of either gender. Since the revelation, he hadn't been with a man, but he was pleased to have a label for what he was.

Most of the Avengers were like him, in fact. Thor had observed many of them in relationships with the opposite gender, but more recently had started picking up on their new relationships. He had noticed how Bruce and Tony sit curled up together when they watch movies now, he saw how Clint lit up whenever Coulson was in the room. Then he noticed the longing in Steves' eyes when Bucky was spoken of. 

He had talked to Steve first, feeling the most comfortable with that since both of them were usually the last to understand what the others were talking about. Steve had explained everything nicely, that not everyone accepted it, but acceptance was growing in Midgard, and the Avengers were all accepting of it. 

It was a relief, knowing that there really was a world where his brother could love freely. He had only been thinking about Loki at the time, but it had dawned on him soon that he had always liked men as well, he had never preferred one gender over the other. He told Loki the next time he visited, and it was the first time in a while Loki had really smiled at him. 

"I didn't know Loki was gay" Natasha hummed, her eyebrows furrowed

"Asgard is not quite as accepting as your realm, it is punishable by death in some cases to lay with someone of the same sex. When I am king I will change that, but for now, the law stands" Thor shrugged, genuinely upset by the law. Nobody deserved to be killed just for loving someone.

"How did your father find out?" Tony asked, sounding more concerned than teasing. Since Loki had been jailed Thor had gotten them to see that he wasn't all bad, mainly just a kid trying to claim back the power he felt he never had. Well, he had tried to. They still had their reservations, and Clint would take longer to convince, but Thor didn't doubt that he would see in time.

He had a feeling Clint was only so angry because he felt what happened to Coulson was his fault.

Still, the question made Thor frown slightly, thinking back to the events that had led to Loki being discovered. 

\--

It had been a mighty hot day in Asgard, the sun blaring down on everything around, but Thor and Loki still trained. There were others there, people their age who would be warriors one day, but they always trained together. Loki was the equivalent of seventeen, while Thor would have been nineteen on earth. 

It was a long day of hard training, but eventually, they made it back to the castle, instead of walking inside though Thor led him through the woods behind the palace 

"Where are we going, brother?" Loki asked, following because Thor had never led him to danger, not knowingly. Loki had led Thor to danger many times, but Thor had never tried to get back at him.

"You will see!" Thor had said, and after a while of walking they came upon hot springs "this is it!" He said, already excitedly stopping his shirt off.

"We don't have anything to swim in" Loki had pointed out, staring at anything except his brother

Thor had simply laughed, already naked by the time Loki looked at him again "we are siblings, we were bathed together as children, we don't need anything. Nobody will see us here" he promised

Loki's mood had shifted, Thor could see as his brother became defensive. He was used to his brother's mood swings though, and he would love him no matter how he acted. He was usually successful in calming him anyway. 

"Perhaps I'll just soak my feet" Loki said, trying not to snap because the rational part of his mind knew that Thor was trying to have fun with him.

"I won't accept it. You'll feel much better after washing the dirt and sweat from the day off." Thor said, touching Loki's shoulder 

Loki breathed deeply, not wanting to get angry, he always felt bad later when he yelled at Thor. 

"I don't want to be naked" he admitted glancing at Thor before focusing on the water again

Thor furrowed his eyebrows and led Loki to a log where they could sit. Nudity had never bothered Thor, and he sat comfortably despite not being covered.

"Why, brother? Nobody can see us from here, I doubt the guards even know it exists" 

Loki was quiet again, the urge to yell shifting into nervousness

"You mustn't tell mother or father" he whispered, looking up at his older brother to see if his response was sincere

"I would never betray your trust" Thor promised

Loki nodded and moved so close they were almost pressed together before he pulled his sleeve up. His once pale, unmarked skin was covered in deep gashes and scars. Loki was learning how to remove them with magic, but part of him liked always having them there.

Thor gasped like he had been kicked, grabbing his brother's arm carefully as not to hurt him "who did this to you?" He demanded

"I-I did it." Loki whispered 

Thor blinked a few times before he understood "you cut your own arm? Dear gods, why?" He asked

"I enjoy it. The.. the pain is nice, cleansing" 

"No Loki, you shan't do this again, for you do not need to be cleansed brother" Thor said, fingertips tracing over the scarred flesh gently. 

"You don't know that" Loki whispered

"What do you feel you're cleansing yourself from?"

Then Loki was silent. It was one thing to tell Thor about his cuts but what if he wouldn't keep his other secret? What if Thor would have him disowned or killed? If Thor implied that Loki had made an advance on him he would surely be put to death.

"Impure thoughts" he ended up saying, face heating up and turning pink

"Thoughts of sex are normal Loki. If.. if that is what you mean?" Thor said, his arm coming around to hold his brother, he cared deeply about him and wanted to know what had troubled him enough to lead him to self harm.

Loki thought about saying no, about saying he was having thoughts about hurting people instead. It wasn't false. He didn't feel bad about those thoughts though. Not in the same way at least.

"Not.. sex, not ordinary sex. Sex with men" he clarified. Loki already imagined that Thor hated him most days, what did he have to lose?

That stopped Thor short, making him think. He had never thought of gay relationships before. Never really formed an opinion. He knew they were considered taboo and wrong here, but he decided then and there that it couldn't be wrong if it's what Loki felt.

"I can't say it's normal, brother, but I will tell you this. If it feels right to you, I will not condemn you, it must be right to you. I will always love you" Thor spoke, choosing his words carefully

Loki hadn't been expecting acceptance, always prepared for the worst, so the words almost knocked him back. He sat still for a long time before leaning forward, hugging Thor 

"Thank you" he whispered. He had no illusions, he knew that it wouldn't be acceptable for him to be seen with men, but one day one of them would be king and perhaps then the rules would change.

"Do not thank me. There is not an act in this realm you could commit that would dim my love for you" Thor promised, standing again "now, would you like to join me in the springs?"

Loki nodded, standing up and stripping down before he folded his clothes and set them on the log. Smiling once again, he followed Thor and jumped in, sighing happily as he surfaced.

"You were right, I already feel better" he said, looking up to see the beauty that was his brother, naked with water droplets clinging to his strong chest. Loki looked away quickly, not wanting to get any ideas.

"I knew you would!" Thor exclaimed happily, noticing how Loki looked away and swimming closer to his brother.

"I do not mind if you stare at me, Loki. I understand it's harder for you to look at any boys in fear of punishment. I will not be upset if you simply want to look." He said, in the soft voice he reserved for Loki when he was telling him secrets or calming him down from a mood swing. 

"It's incestuous. I just.. just.. it's the one thing I don't know anything about. There are no books on sex with two men, there's nobody I can ask. I'm only..." he trailed off, feeling embarrassed and powerless with his older brother standing over him

"Curious?" Thor guessed, smiling as Loki nodded "perhaps some may see it as incestuous but I won't mind. You may look whenever you'd like. I don't see how it's wrong if you're only looking." He shrugged, before smiling even brighter

"I would bet there are books on it in another realm, I will look when I visit each of them next" he promised

Loki blushed again, but nodded, knowing Thor was being supportive "thank you" he had whispered, and then they had spent hours there, playing and relaxing in between. Every now and then Loki would let his eyes wander over Thor's body and he tried not to feel guilty about it. 

\--

The next time Thor was allowed to visit Midgard he took care of his duties before finding a bookshop. They had a small section of books about gay couples but not what Thor was looking for. He did buy one romance novel, Loki loved to read and perhaps reading about sex would be helpful too. His search was coming to an end when he ended up in a gas station. He was only buying a bottle of water when the magazines caught his eye.

The covers didn't give much away, but when he opened one it was full of graphic pictures of ladies. Thankfully there were a few featuring only men, men together, so he bought a few different ones and left the store with a grin.

He had put them under Loki's pillow when he returned to Asgard, and it was well worth his brother not meeting his eyes for a few days to know that he had done something nice for him. 

Unfortunately, only a month later they were discovered by a maid, and father had been furious. Thor still remembered holding Loki that night, trying to soothe him as he switched between weeping and trying to hit Thor. 

Loki had been sure their father would execute him, and perhaps he would have, but Thor talked him down from it. Instead, Loki had been whipped publicly and from that point on had two female guards watching him at all times, and the books were burned. 

Not once did someone mention that the books came from Midgard, somewhere Loki had never been.

If he had only received the books a few months later when he learned how to turn things indivisible to others.

Thor had never felt worse and was glad when his brother was finally old enough to leave the castle. He hadn't known the destruction his brother intended to cause, but he understood to a point.

At first, it was all to make their father proud. Between not having his support on his lifestyle and not being biologically his, he wanted his father's love. When that didn't work he started to want the next best thing in his mind. Power. To have others worship him. 

Thor had seen that hope and intent ripped away from him since he had been imprisoned this time. He would not have Loki hurt so badly that he would never recover.

\----

"Our father discovered that Loki owned gay pornographic magazines. Loki was punished horribly for it" Thor said, shaking his head to clear the memories away

"I'm sorry" Tony said softly. They all knew just how much Thor loved his brother. Even after finding out they weren't biologically brothers. That information had actually felt somewhat comforting to the group, who all had come to the conclusion that Thor loved Loki differently than he would a sibling. It's why they all gave him another chance, why they had all started to see him and talk.

"I'll tell you what, thunder, bring him back here. He can share your floor, or I'll clear out another floor for him" Tony said, clapping his hands together once like he did when he was particularly fond of one of his own ideas.

"Are you sure, brother Anthony? He will not bring back old pain?" Thor asked

"It's in the past, right?" Tony asked, looking at the others.

Bruce was the last to agree surprisingly, while Clint was second to last 

"On one condition" the scientist started "you'll have him see a psychologist. Shield knows a lot of good ones. I like Loki, but he'll be much happier if they can treat his mental illness" 

Thor nodded. Bruce had explained long ago that Lokis mood swings, and the self harm all connected back to a mental illness, nothing physical that they could fix. Thor had a hard time grasping the concept at first since Asgard didn't have many doctors who cared about mental illness, but he trusted Bruce, and he would do anything to give Loki the happiness he hadn't experienced yet. 

"It is a deal" he swore

Then everyone was in agreement that Loki could stay, and seeing how happy Thor was made it worth it, calming any fear they had. 

"I cannot express my gratitude, friends. It means the world to have somewhere safe for Loki to stay while he learns how to act in society again. He will stay on my floor, Tony, I would prefer to be able to keep an eye on him"

"Is there anything else we can do?" Steve asked, smiling at his friend. 

"Not until he is here, for now, I ask that you continue like normal. When we return I will call another meeting so he knows you're all okay with him staying here" Thor decided, before starting with his goodbyes. Like usual, he gave everyone a hug before he left, finding it important that they all know he will miss them in his absence. 

When he arrives in Asgard he wastes no time before finding their father, finding that at the sight of him he is already seething despite being so happy not long ago.

"Father" Thor boomed, his powerful voice filling the throne room and echoing. 

As he approached his father he set Mjolnir down, not wanting to initiate an actual fight. He was hoping to talk sense into his father, instead of having to create a plan to get Loki out. 

"Ah, Thor, you didn't inform me of your impending visit," Odin said "are you here to see your brother be married?"

"You cannot do this to Loki. It isn't right" Thor said

His mother smiled "it might be good for him, Thor, men tend to settle down once they're married" 

"But you know that Loki does not crave a wife." Thor said, astonished that they had ever considered hurting Loki this way

"No son of mine will marry a man." Odin spoke, sounding final.

"Loki will simply kill any woman you put before him. " Thor stated "He will be married to a man one day. Such a thing is allowed in Midgard, accepted even. I intend to take him there with me, you are not fit to hold him as prisoner anymore. Father, you have let hate shade your eyes from the pain you have caused your son. I won't let it continue. "

"I can't let that happen, Thor, he has not paid for his crimes yet. You'll understand one day." Odin sighed

"No, I won't" Thor said, picking up his hammer before he turned on his feet and walked to the dungeon. He found Loki's cell and briefly panicked when he didn't see the man before he saw his brothers feet under the bed. He was let into the cell before it was locked behind him again. He had no fear of being in a room with Loki, he was only worried about his brother.

Loki was so much thinner than when he had been brought here, his eyes were sunken in, and Thor was never sure when the last time they let him bathe was. Slowly Thor laid on the ground, making eye contact with Loki who was curled up under the bed.

"Did you hear?" Loki whispered

"Yes" Thor nodded "I've come to take you back to Midgard with me" 

"Father will never allow it.. and.. the Avengers, they'll never let me return" Loki sighed, looking so small.

"The Avengers have all agreed to let you return. So long as you agree to see what's called a psychologist. It's... it's similar to a doctor, but for your mind. So long as you agree they will allow you to even to stay in the tower on my floor. Father.. will be more difficult" Thor sighed

"I can't go through with this, Brother, I don't want to" Loki sniffled. Thor was the only person he let see him cry. He never bothered to hide from him now. "They plan on making me have sex with a lady. If I can't maintain an erection they'll give me an injection and do it by force."

The guards had been talking about it loudly, meaning to scare him, and it had worked.

"I won't let that happen." Thor promised, reaching out to brush away Loki's tears "I won't let them marry you off or make you have sex. I swear. Unless you have a lady you would trust to do it. Marriages can easily be broken"

That was true at least. As long as both parties agreed marriages were easily dissolved in Asgard. 

"I don't know anyone" Loki whispered "I wouldn't be able to.. do it anyway" 

"You can't get an erection around a lady?" Thor asked, never one to shy away from such topics. He didn't understand, but he knew that it had to do with himself being attracted to both genders. He couldn't imagine not liking females like Loki couldn't imagine liking one.

"I've never attempted to, but I've never gotten one when thinking about a lady, and I used to try a lot" Loki admitted "I wanted to be normal" he whispered

They've talked a lot about where all of his pain turned to anger, about how he hurt so many people because he was hurt himself. Thor wasn't sure if his brother regretted it, but he knew he wouldn't do it again. Thor would make sure of it, but hopefully, once Loki was in an environment where he was supported and cared for he would understand that he no longer had to hurt anyone to feel in control. 

"You're so much more than normal" Thor whispered, circling his arm around his brother so he could pull him from under the bed. Standing up, he lifted Loki easily onto the bed and laid beside him. 

"I have had an idea" Thor whispered "just listen, okay? If you don't like it we can think of something new"

"Tell me, I'll do anything" Loki said, gripping onto his brother's arm

The plan was long, essentially, Loki would turn a man into a woman and choose them to marry, once they were alone to consummate the marriage he could turn them back into a man. All that had to happen next was an agreement to dissolve the marriage from both and it would be like nothing happened. Loki would be released and Thor wouldn't have to do anything too illegal to get Loki out. 

"Tis a good plan... it could work. I doubt father will look too hard into the girl I 'marry', but I know not any men who would enjoy my company either" Loki admitted. He had never been good at making friends.

"We will find somebody" Thor promised

Loki remained quiet for a few minutes, enjoying having his brother so close. The thought that he would perhaps be out of here soon was nice too. He wished for nothing more than to return to the Avenger's tower with Thor.

"Maybe.." Loki murmured, not finishing the thought

"Maybe what?" Thor asked, brushing Loki's hair back gently

"Perhaps you could do it" Loki whispered, not meeting Thor's eyes

"You wish for me to marry you? And have relations with you?" Thor asked, more confused than anything 

"I trust you. Im.. I'm scared, brother" Loki sighed, closing his eyes momentarily as his hair was played with

Thor thought about what it would meanwhile they sat in silence. They weren't biologically brothers, and truth be told.. Loki was good looking, it didn't have to mean anything more, right?

"Alright. I will do it. If you are certain you want this"

"I'm sure" Loki agreed right away, eyes opening so Thor could see that he meant it. "But I should tell you that I've never had intercourse" 

Thor was too stunned to speak for a moment, letting Loki's words sink in

"Never? Are you sure that you want me to be your first?" Thor asked. Perhaps Loki didn't think his first time had to mean anything, but Thor really did want Loki to enjoy beautiful times in life. Sex should be beautiful.

"I would like nothing more" Loki admitted, biting his lip "I've imagined it before. Often. Like you said when I told you I thought about boys, it was always harder to look at other boys, and knowing that you already supported me was comforting" 

Thor smiled softly "I thought you might. You stared a lot as a teen. I didn't think it was odd, don't fret, but I noticed. Especially when we visited the springs, you couldn't tear your eyes away could you?" 

Loki shook his head, knowing he couldn't deny it but not wanting to either. "You looked gorgeous. I wanted to know how your body would feel against mine" 

Both of them stared at the other silently, the tension in the room building.

"Did you touch yourself, Loki? When you thought about me?" Thor asked

"I did, brother. I felt guilty but it was too tempting." 

Thor knew he should stop there, save Loki any embarrassment, but he didn't want to, not really. For the first time, he was realising that perhaps he reciprocated some feelings. He remembered how he wore fewer clothes to train when Loki joined him, how he flexed more at the hot springs. True to his word he had never minded when his brother stared, not at all.

"What did you think about us doing?" Thor asked, still holding Loki close on the small bed. The guards knew better than to listen to their conversation so Thor wasn't worried.

Loki blushed, looking over Thor's face to see if he was asking because he was disgusted. It didn't seem to be that way though. 

"I-I didn't quite know how two men pleasured each other, so in the beginning, I imagined us kissing, about being pressed to the side of the spring, or watching you touch yourself" he said, the blush spreading down his neck.

Thor smiled, one of his fingers tracing over the newly red skin. He couldn't help but feel proud, glad that Loki had thought about him more than anyone else. 

"Then you gave me the books.. and I imagined other things" Loki paused, giving Thor time to stop him as the fantasies were much less innocent.

"Tell me" Thor decided

"I wanted to pleasure you. That is what I crave most. I thought about using my hands, and my mouth.. I-I saw pictures of boys who had it inside of them but I didn't think it would fit" Loki explained, not feeling shame, but nervousness. How far was too far?

Thor smiled, knowing without looking down that both of them were getting hard. He didn't want to stop their conversation though, another reason he didn't mention Loki's use of present tense when saying he wanted to please Thor, not indicating that it was an old fantasy.

"When we are married you will have to be inside me, so there is proof we consummated the marriage, however, I promise it would fit should it ever be the other way around" Thor chuckled, leaning down as he gained his confidence and pressing his lips to Loki's neck, where he was still pink. Surely he wouldn't mind if he fantasised about Thor so much.

Loki nodded, knowing Thor was right about how they needed to have sex when they were married. Part of him wanted to ask if they had to dissolve the marriage. Marriage was more about the two involved than what names were said out loud, so it would hardly matter that Thor would look like a woman at the time. He stayed silent on the subject though. 

He continued his thoughts as Thor kissed his neck, making his hips stutter forward. "After New York... I thought about you making me do it, as punishment." 

Loki was never berated for masturbating in his cell, and he had nothing else to do but think and create new fantasies. 

"I thought of you calling me names, holding my face to the ground. Using the voice you put on when you're angry" Loki whispered. He knew that voice well. When Thor was angry with him his voice was always more desperation than anger, but Loki had seen his brother truly angry countless times.

Thor smiled despite the cruel fantasies, he had already known Loki to be a sadist, a masochist was not a hard reach. Without having to think too much Thor found himself slotting his leg between Loki's after the man rocked forward. When Loki drew back he tightened his grip slightly, not forcing him but letting him know it was alright to continue. 

"I don't doubt you would earn punishment often" he purred, even without hurting anyone Loki was a trouble maker. The trickster would have no problem finding a way to deserve punishment. 

The fantasies didn't come as a surprise. Loki loved attention, and Thor knew he thought the pain was a way to pay for his sins. He had since they were much younger, when Loki had begun to self harm. Someone he trusted choosing what was right had to be appealing. Thor knew how lost Loki had felt his whole life.

Thor would never in a million years abuse the power to punish Loki though, he wanted his brother to feel loved, cared for. Even if he would want their marriage dissolved immediately. These were only fantasies after all.

"The night I gave you your books I touched myself. I thought of you looking through them" Thor admitted

"You didn't" Loki said suspiciously, looking into Thor's eyes

"I did indeed" Thor confirmed. He hadn't fantasised about Loki a lot before that, but after that, he had occasionally. It left him feeling guilty, but he could never truly stop himself. 

"I imagined you aroused, the noises you would make if you were touched, if you would try the things you saw in the magazines" Thor went on, holding his brother securely while the smaller man ground against his leg, making the sweetest noises Thor had ever heard.

Loki curled his fingers from one hand around the bottom of Thors shirt for a moment, working up a little courage before he slid his hand under the fabric, resting it against his brother's abs. He had never touched a man before, not in an intimate setting, and he moaned, muffling the noise into Thor's shirt. 

Thor wasn't wearing his usual armour, but Loki didn't mind. As nice as the armour was to look at it was easier to be close without it, and Loki was glad his brother was safe enough to not need armour constantly. 

"You always stared, I thought of letting you touch too. I wondered if you would want to. I suppose I now know" Thor smiled "I fantasised at length about taking you, if you would be a pain or if you would behave. Look at you now though, being so good for me" he hummed affectionately

And then it was too much for Loki, who had never been called good in his life, who had never received such praise from the one he wanted most, and he came in his pants, gasping Thor's name and whining high in his throat. 

Thor watched with a smile, holding his brother through his orgasm. He knew the physical contact would help. Loki spent most days not being touched by a single soul, and he needed it more than anything. Most people forgot how crazy you could go if you were never touched by another person.

After a minute of heavy breathing, Loki looked back up at Thor "thank you" he murmured, red-faced and less put together than Thor had ever seen him. He had half a mind to shift into a different version of himself, one who wasn't blushing, and wasn't so thin. 

"Would you like me to..." Loki trailed off nervously, fingers going down to the edge of Thor pants before they were stopped 

"Not necessary. That can wait, Loki" Thor said, bringing Loki's hand up to kiss it. 

After letting Loki relax for a few more minutes Thor stood from the bed, straightening out his clothing

"Come now, you should perform the spell. Father wants you married tomorrow." Thor sighed. Of course, his father had waited until the last day to inform him, probably thinking he couldn't form a plan in that time. How wrong he was.

Loki nodded and with a wave of his hand cleaned what was in his pants before standing, accepting Thor's hand to steady himself. 

Loki stepped a safe distance away, biting his lip 

"What if my magic isn't powerful enough?" He asked, it was harder to transform someone else, and he didn't practice as much in here. He got in trouble for using his magic.

"It is," Thor said without doubt "you are incredibly powerful, more so than anyone gave you credit for. I'm sorry I didn't encourage you to use your magic over what combat skills they taught us. It is what you were born to use" 

Loki only smiled, nodding his thanks before he raised his hands, he only had one shot, and he wouldn't know if the spell worked until the next day. 

The spell didn't hurt, only washed over Thor slowly, making him shiver. 

"When you wake next you will appear to everyone to be a woman" Loki nodded, smiling briefly at the amusing thought. He had used this as a prank many times.

Thor nodded and went to pick up Mjolnir before pausing and approaching Loki again.

"Have you kissed anyone, brother?" He asked

Loki stood in silence before shaking his head. He could lie, a few people had tried to kiss him before, but he snapped their necks faster than they could. Nobody had wanted to kiss him as a young adult in Asgard, and then he became too focused on gaining Thor's attention, and he was nervous about being so inexperienced. Nobody had ever gotten closer than a few inches.

Thor was not offset by the admission though, and instead, he stepped forward, placing a hand on Loki's cheek before leaning in to kiss him. It was soft and sweet, no need for anything rougher. He wanted all of Loki's firsts with him to create good memories. 

"What was that for?" Loki whispered as Thor pulled away only remembering to keep breathing seconds later

"We will have to kiss as we're being married. I don't want your first kiss to be in front of a crowd" Thor explained, leaning in to do it once more before stepping back 

"I will see you tomorrow" Thor promised, squeezing Loki's hand before he gathered his things and left. 

\--

Thor returned to his room in the castle immediately after he left, barely shutting the door before he was undoing his pants quickly. He leant against the wood as he stroked himself, not lasting a minute before finishing over his hand. 

He got cleaned up after that before he found his parents, informing them that he would stay in Asgard, but would not be going to a wedding meant to humiliate his brother. They seemed more pleased than he would have liked.

On the way back to his room he wondered if still referring to Loki as his brother made this wrong, but he did still consider him to be his brother, just not by blood. By everything that mattered. He soon pushed the thoughts away, it didn't have to be 'right' to anyone but them.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning was confusing as Thor woke up, feeling much smaller than usual, and tangled in hair much longer than his own. Soon he remembered that this was meant to happen and smiled, getting up to look in a mirror. He looked different except in the details, same blond hair and blue eyes, same smile. 

He went into town and bought a dress before returning to the castle. A surprising number of women were there, and he waited in line like everyone else until he was called in to speak with the royal family (sans Thor of course). 

"What is your name?" Odin asked once he entered. He could already see the knowing look on his brother, but he needed to impress Odin to be able to marry Loki. He wasn't sure if Loki's opinion would matter much to the decision made.

Thor had considered using the name Thora, a feminine version of his name, and Tófi, a name meaning thunder, but they were too close to his true name that father may get suspicious.

"Tempest Osgood" he spoke proudly. Smiling when Loki rolled his eyes, knowing it was because his initials had stayed the same. He was not a great liar. 

"Why have you come here today, Tempest?" Loki asked, and Thor wondered if it was the first time he had spoken that day, from how their parents looked shocked.

"I believe I could better your son" Thor spoke, practically ignoring Loki to talk to Odin. Their father would like that.

"In what way?" Odin asked, seeming intrigued. 

"He is a murderer, and well, it's common knowledge why he was whipped in the town centre years ago" Thor said, suppressing the urge to wince. It had meant to stay a secret, but a few people who had worked at the castle let the secret out, and just like that Loki had been outed to everyone.

Thor hated to say these things, but he would do anything to make sure Loki returned home safe with him. Aside from breaking him out and risking his position as the king one day, this was their best chance.

Thor continued to charm the king and queen, only acknowledging Loki when the King spoke about him, and soon his time was over and he left, not glancing back as he left. 

For a while, he worried that he hadn't done enough, but less than an hour later guards were coming to gather him, and he was congratulated by the king and queen for being chosen.

The rest of the day was spent getting ready. They had people groom and dress him to their liking as the ceremony was set up. Thor already knew the crowd would be huge. Everyone would gather to see the prince be married. 

Thor was sure it was made apparent to everyone that attendance was just short of mandatory.

Walking in the high heels was hard, but he managed, and he had to admit that the ceremony was beautiful. Less extravagant than he would have prepared, because Loki deserved the best, but it was still a lovely sight.

He was put on a large balcony with Loki, immediate friends and family sat on the balcony with them and the rest of Asgard watching from below. Thor had said his family to be dead, that he was alone, and like expected Odin did not care enough to prod further. 

The ceremony was different than on earth, there were no written vows, only short promises repeated before they signed and put a drop of blood onto a page of parchment. Knowing that nobody would look at the paper before it was too late he signed his real name, giving Loki a small smile as the other saw it. The parchment was dropped into a fire next.

Thor watched without breathing, as this was important to him. In Asgard, soulmates were a widely accepted notion. The fire was controlled by gods and would burn high and pink if the two marrying were right for each other, pink if they would be at least happy. Most people didn't expect to find their soulmate in this life and were okay with marrying if the fire only changed a shade or two, as long as it didn't go out. 

Thor worried it would go out and his heart would be broken. Perhaps the gods wouldn't accept two men marrying, especially if they had been raised as brothers. His fears disappeared as Loki dropped the parchment in though, and the fire flickered before growing tall, turning so pink it was almost red. It was fitting, Thor thought with a smile. 

Then the fire sent out sparks, so large and sparkling that they looked like fireworks, a true sign of soulmates. It was a once in a lifetime view. Most people on Asgard would never see someone find their soulmate. 

Thor had attended multiple weddings and had never seen a fire so large, it almost brought tears to his eyes before he remembered that he shouldn't be too pleased. He still had to get Loki away before anyone realized what had happened. It would be too late once they were in Midgard and everyone realized they had married. He also ran the risk of scaring off Loki if the other wasn't just as happy.

Shaking himself out of his thoughts he realized everyone had gone silent, not a person said a word until suddenly the crowd below burst into cheers. Nobody had been expecting the fire to grow. Most were waiting for it to go out in fact.

Thor let Loki lean in this time, kissing him for a few seconds longer than the day before pulling back. 

They were forced to stay for a while longer, enduring the congratulations of their family who wouldn't support this if they knew what was really happening and then shaking the hands of some citizens and eating a meal before they were ushered off into the castle, into a nice room with a large bed and everything they said they would need.

"Is it safe to change you now?" Loki asked, stepping into the room. He was still shaken up, letting the meaning of the fire sink in. 

Thor locked the door before nodding 

"Yes" he confirmed, approaching Loki

The transformation happened immediately this time, and he felt his body go back to normal. He knew Loki could have put his regular clothes on him again, as easily as he had removed the makeup from that day, which is why he was confused to still be wearing a dress until he looked up and saw Loki containing his laughter.

"Something funny?" Thor asked, grinning back at his brother. He was only glad that some of the tension was broken, and it was a good sign that the brother he knew was still there. 

"Not at all, you look very pretty" Loki said, giggling quietly 

Thor let Loki laugh, revelling in the sound as he reached behind his back, undoing the lace on the dress expertly and letting it fall to the ground. 

The laughing stopped as soon as it hit the floor, revealing nothing to be underneath. Thor stepped out of the nice dress but stayed a few steps away so Loki could look at him. If he decided he couldn't do this Thor would respect that, and they would come up with a new plan.

Thor's

"You needn't do that. Please, Loki. You look lovely the way you are now" Thor promised, stepping back once again and smiling as Loki's body shifted back to how it was a few seconds ago.

"I apologise. I'm finding it difficult ... inadequate" Loki admitted, glancing over Thor's body again shyly.

Thor was stronger than he was when they still lived together. He was bigger, had more scars, and he was gorgeous. That at least had not changed. 

Thor smiled, not pitying him as Loki had feared, but instead smiling with love.

"You are nothing of the sort" Thor hummed, moving to the bed and sitting down. He checked the drawers quickly to make sure there was oil to use as a lubricant before leaning back on his hands. 

"I believe we should talk before we continue" Thor decided, patting the bed next to him. He didn't mind being naked, to this day it didn't bother him. 

Loki nodded slowly, worried that this was when this fell apart as he sat down 

"About what?" He asked meekly

"The fire. You understood what it meant?" Thor asked, to be certain.

Loki paused before he nodded 

"yes, I understood" 

"We are soulmates, and if you still wish to have our marriage dissolved I will respect that, but before we go to bed it would be wrong if I didn't tell you that.. that I have developed feelings for you" Thor sighed, reaching out to touch Loki's leg gently 

"Just since the fire?" Loki asked, laughing nervously and not looking at his brother any longer. 

"No, I believe I have had them for a long time, longer than I would admit to anyone else" Thor said, speaking softly

"I-I don't want to end the marriage" Loki whispered, closing his eyes "but.."

"But what?" Thor asked

"I am not fit to be your queen" 

Thor paused to consider the thought before smiling at his brother, touching his cheek to make him look him in the eyes

"In time you will be. There is much time for you to learn what it means to be queen" he said, and he couldn't help but imagine Loki on the throne next to him. It felt right. Loki was not fit to run a kingdom alone, too prone to rash decisions and mood swings, but with the right guidance? He could do wonderful things. 

Loki smiled slowly and nodded, feeling the same way. He had long since realized how he was unable to be in charge. It had been destabilising but he was healing. He just needed to find somewhere he fit into place, and perhaps this was it.

"I would like to take your last name, to finally deserve the last name Odinson" Loki decided. He had changed his last name shortly after finding out he was adopted.

Thor smiled "I would like nothing more" he said

Loki took a deep breath before moving closer "nothing, more?" He asked, smirking slightly 

Thor blushed this time, a rather rare occurrence so Loki counted it as a victory. Thor recovered quickly though and sat up straight on the bed. 

"Remove your clothes if you wish to continue" he instructed

"I could keep them on" Loki said hesitantly

"Nonsense. I wish to see every part of my husband" Thor said, beaming as he said the word 

Loki chuckled, shoving him fondly before standing 

"I don't look the same" he warned

"Neither do I, Loki. It matters not to me" Thor promised, and it was true. Loki could choose to do this in his Avengers form and Thor would still believe Avengers his soul that he was gorgeous. He could be as blue as the sky and have bright red eyes and Thor wouldn't be able to look away.

Loki nodded and began undressing, removing his clothes quickly so there wasn't a moment to hesitate. Loki was positively covered in scars. Large ones that covered his whole body. Some were an angry red colour while others were pale and white, then, of course, there were the thin cuts on his arms, a few similar ones on his upper thighs. 

Across his back were the scars from his whipping, which still hurt to this day. Sometimes enough that he couldn't move his body until it passed.

Loki could have healed them all if he wanted, but he kept the scars. Like the pain, he felt they helped make up for the things he did. 

Thor reached out once Loki was undressed, grabbing his hands and pulling him forward until Loki straddled him.

"You're beautiful" Thor said, running his hands over Loki's sides

Loki shivered, almost moving his hands to cover himself because he was going to get hard. He had spent a lot of time alone so to be naked in someone's lap, with their bare skin touching... it was a lot. Combined with the sweet words he didn't stand a chance at controlling his body.

Thor would talk about the scars another day. He would help him to see that he could remove them and the world wouldn't collapse, but it wasn't important now. Dr.Banner had helped him understand that he couldn't love a mental illness away from someone, but it would help them get better when combined with professional care, and that had helped Thor a lot. To have a plan on how to help his brother.

"Don't hide. It's okay" Thor soothed, seeing the way Loki's arms moved and then paused.

"I fear that this will not be pleasurable for you since I am inexperienced. Th-that you will leave unsatisfied like yesterday" Loki admitted. He had felt bad the night before thinking that he should have tended to Thor before getting himself off.

Thor shook his head "you have misunderstood, brother. I did not want you to touch me. I felt it was harmless to let you rock against me but I wished to wait until we were in a proper bed, not a cell, to introduce you to sex" he explained, before smirking

"As soon as I got to my room I took myself in my hand. You were gorgeous" Thor said, moving his hands to Loki's back to draw him closer, well aware that their genitals were almost touching.

"As for you not being experienced, I will teach you as much as I know. I have not been with a man either, Loki. We will discover what we enjoy together" Thor smiled "I know you crave to pleasure me, Loki, but please do not think of this as a way to pay me back for something. Enjoy it for what it is" 

He remembered Loki's words from the day before, the same words that Thor used. He doubted Loki remembered, but he had repeated the words over and over in his head. They meant a lot more than if Loki simply craved sex with him.

The statement held no implications of pleasure for Loki. Loki simply wished to be allowed to put his hands on Thor, to bring his brother off with his body. Thor could tell he had held that wish for a long time, perhaps since he first realized he liked men. He intended to let him, but to show Loki that it wasn't about repaying him and that Loki receiving pleasure wouldn't take away from his own.

"I will" Loki promised, breathing deeply. He was realizing now that they weren't just having sex to get him out of jail, they were going to consummate their very real marriage. That held a lot more meaning, and he intended to be able to look back on this fondly. 

Thor nodded and secured an arm around Loki while he reached for the oil, bringing it close.

"Would you like to stroke me?" Thor offered, wishing for them both to be hard before they began. He suspected that Loki would get hard quickly if he touched Thor.

Loki hesitated, before nodding, trying to gain some of the confidence he used to have. Even if that had mostly been for show. It was less confidence and more anger and pain truthfully, but it had been there before he was locked away for so long. He could figure this out though, it would be just like when he touched himself. 

The oil was in a pump bottle, and he let Thor put some in his hand before he reached out, curling his long fingers around Thor's cock. 

Thor leant back on one of his arms again to give Loki more room to see what he was doing, but made sure not to put too much distance between them. He grunted softly as Loki's hand curled around him, starting with gentle strokes. 

Loki was mesmerised, watching his hand move around the member. He had stared a lot as a teenager, he had wanted to touch, and now he was. He couldn't look away. Neither of them were circumcised, and Loki breathed harshly as he stroked his hand down and the skin rolled to reveal Thor's tip, which was turning a darker shade of pink as he hardened.

Thor let Loki touch and experiment for as long as he liked, clearly interested in what he was doing. Once he was over examining him and started stroking Thor could see he was nervous though, and he reached a hand out to wrap around Lokis 

"Here" he murmured, showing him how firm to grip him, and helping him to set a rhythm. 

Loki was thankful for the help, maintaining the rhythm set when Thor took his hand away. He did pant as he stroked his husband, however, getting hard quickly. His cock was standing against his stomach by the time Thor was half hard. 

Thor saw how his brother grew erect so quickly and reached out, trailing his fingers over the dark black hair surrounding his cock before tracing them lightly over his shaft

"beautiful" he whispered, moaning shortly after. He didn't try to suppress any noises, wanting Loki to know he was enjoying himself.

When they were both fully erect Thor put oil in his own hand, moving Loki closer so he could stroke them both together, their cocks fitting in his large hand easily. 

Loki was smaller than him, but nothing to laugh at (not that he ever would). He stood at around six inches while Thor was a solid eight. 

While he stroked them Thor made sure to keep an arm around his husband, worried he might shake apart if he didn't. He felt very overwhelmed as well, but he had the advantage of being used to physical contact, and knowing what it felt like to be in bed with another person. 

Loki was gasping and whimpering against his shoulder, hips stuttering up every few seconds

"I will finish too quickly if you continue" Loki warned, and Thor nodded, pulling his hand away and pressing a kiss to Loki's lips before he flipped them and left Loki on the bed next to him.

"Do you know how to prepare a man for sex, Loki?" Thor asked, not judging or teasing. 

"I.. I have never seen it done, but I've read about it. In romance novels and books more about the medical side of things" Loki explained, not knowing if that was enough.

Thor nodded, handing him the oil as he made himself comfortable on the bed 

"I trust you" he said, spreading his legs to make room for Loki between them

Loki breathed in sharply as he watched, his body moving on its own to get between Thor's legs. He could spend days just touching every patch of his lover's skin, and then another week putting his face to every body part, sucking marks wherever he left. 

Loki had never wished to be submissive to anyone in his life, but he wanted Thor's guidance more than anything. He trusted him with his life. He still felt lost and unstable, but Thor eased that, he felt like he finally had a place now, he just wished to lock into place. 

Thor could tell Loki was shaken, and he reached up to curl a hand around the back of his neck, grounding him. Hopefully, with help, Loki would become confident on his own feet again, but Thor would help for now.

"Go ahead" he encouraged.

Loki nodded, and spread the oil over his fingers, moving closer between Thor’s thighs to reach down and run the pad of his finger over his hole.

"Do tell me if it hurts, please?" Loki said, he couldn't handle hurting Thor anymore. 

Thor nodded "I promise" he said, letting out a shaky breath as Loki slid a finger into him. It felt odd at first, but as Loki started moving his finger moreyourhe began to understand why people enjoyed this.

"Add another" he instructed after a minute, hand still caressing Loki's neck 

"It feels good" he assured him. 

Loki nodded, and with a little more oil, eased another finger into him, shuddering at the tightness. He couldn't bring himself to imagine what it would feel like to be inside. Even if he would be in just a few short minutes, he could barely believe it. How could he deserve something like this?

Thor moaned softly, rocking down on Loki's fingers once he got used to the slight stretch. He pulled Loki closer, having him lean down to kiss while he worked his fingers in and out of his husband. Loki looked like he could faint at any moment and he wanted him to relax before he was inside of him. 

"Take a few deep breaths for me" he instructed, "you're doing so well." He murmured, pressing their lips together.

This kiss was longer, deeper than any others. Thor continues kissing Loki until he was ready for another finger and he told his brother as much. While he was prepped he slid his tongue into Loki's mouth, going slow as he taught Loki these things. 

"I believe I am ready. If you are" Thor whispered, pressing a final kiss to Loki's lips 

Loki nodded, feeling a lot more stable 

"Could you stay in this position? S-so I can see your face?" Loki asked. The men in magazines were usually on their hands and knees, but Loki wanted to see how Thor looked when he finished, wanted to be able to have Thor's arms around him. 

"Of course" Thor said, lifting his knees higher while Loki generously lathered oil over his cock. 

Thor closed his eyes when Loki pulled his fingers out, moaning and rocking his hips up before he stilled to let Loki line himself up.

He sensed his hesitation and reached out to cup his cheek 

"I love you" Thor said, not an ounce of doubt in his tone

Loki looked away from where they were almost slotted together to smile

"I love you too" he said "I.. I always have" Loki added.

Slowly, he pushed his hips forward, making a strangled noise as he sunk into the tight heat. He paused halfway to catch his breath, giggling shyly as Thor caressed his cheek. He was not used to being this overwhelmed and it helped that he wasn't embarrassed.

"How does it feel, my love?" Thor asked, glad for the pause as he adjusted to his husband's size. It wasn't very painful, and the grin on his face was true, he enjoyed knowing that he could overwhelm Loki. He loved seeing how much pleasure his body brought to him.

"So good." Loki gasped "I-I" he tried to speak, but he was genuinely at a loss for words. 

Thor nodded "I know" he whispered, he remembered his own first time, it had gone no better. He knew how Loki felt. "Keep going"

Loki nodded and soon sunk all the way inside, gasping for air once he did. He allowed Thor's arms to wrap around him, to hold him as they both caught their breath and adjusted. Loki was careful about moving too much, knowing that nobody had penetrated Thor before. 

"I love you" Loki gasped "I love you" he repeated, feeling slightly emotional. How could things be so right for someone like him? Someone who had hurt so many? 

"I love you too" Thor mused fondly, tucking Loki's hair back. Experimentally he rocked his body, both of them gasping in unison as he did. The burn was gone and was now replaced by a nice stretch and more pleasure than he had expected. 

"You may move, if you're ready" Thor said, unwrapping his arms from around Loki to settle his hands on his sides.

Loki nodded and pulled out slightly only to slide back in a second later, moaning oh so prettily. He thrust like that multiple times, short and quick, before his hips were stopped.

"Like this" Thor whispered, instructing him to do it slower, deeper, and moaning loudly when Loki finally found a good rhythm, hitting Thor's prostate with each thrust.

Loki accepted the help, breathing raggedly between moans as he trusted. He wouldn't look away from Thor's face, encompassed by how he looked when he was lost in pleasure. 

He continued like that until his legs started shaking. Thor noticed and his hands came down to hold them still. He was surprised Loki had even lasted as long as he did. He wondered briefly if he had used magic to up his stamina and make sure he didn't finish early. 

Thor instructed him to pull out before he flipped them, letting Loki lay on his back and instead settling over him, sinking down on his cock. He wouldn't last more than another couple minutes either.

Loki looked like he was in heaven, felt like it too. He had never felt so much pleasure, and now he was graced with the sight of Thor over him, bouncing on his member. For god's sake, he had an actual god, a king, smiling down at him because they were married and happy.

"I-I'm close" Loki warned, thrusting upwards as much as he could. He was practically pinned there by Thor's hands and strong thighs, thighs which Loki happily slid his hands over before one hand circled around Thor's cock. He felt guilty now for not doing this before, but he knew Thor had been enjoying himself despite that. 

"Good. I am not far behind" Thor grunted, continuing to lift himself with his strong legs and ride Loki. He spoke less as he got closer, becoming less elegant in his words especially once Loki started stroking him. He would mention later how pleased he was that Loki had the confidence to touch without hesitating and waiting to be told, but for now, he didn't think too much, only let the added pleasure push him closer to the edge. So much so that he came first, spilling over Lokis stomach and chest 

It seemed to be all Loki needed, as he cried out a moment later and thrust upwards as he came.

Thor smiled, panting and pushing himself down firmly as Loki came, rocking slightly instead of bouncing to help him along.

"Good boy, all inside so I can take you home today" he purred, leaning down to kiss the edge of Loki's slack mouth. Once he was finished Thor got off of him and collapsed on the bed, smiling at his little brother.

"You... must never tell a soul how many times I said I love you" Loki spoke slowly, turning his head to grin at Thor.

Thor chuckled, sighing happily "it is very normal to get emotional during intercourse, I assure you" he said, pulling Loki close. They could spare a few minutes to relax, but Thor was eager to get Loki home, where he wouldn't be hurt any longer.

"An for the record, I love you too" Thor hummed

Loki's nodded "I know you do" he said, shutting his eyes for what seemed like a second but when he opened them Thor had moved and was now cleaning the spend off of Loki's body. 

"You dozed off, we need to leave soon though, or they will come knocking" Thor explained "we will have plenty of time for relaxing once we're home"

"You used to say this was home" Loki whispered

Thor paused his movements, sighing "It was, until they hurt my brother, my soulmate"

Loki smiled softly "you will make a good king, Thor" he said

The comment seems to take Thor by surprise, and he made eye contact 

"You believe that?" He asked

Loki nodded, realizing that perhaps he had never said it before. Loki truly hadn't wanted to be king when they were younger, but he had resented that nobody thought he could be king if he tried.

"I do" he promised. Loki rose slowly, kissing Thor before he stood up. He dressed in some clothes provided to them and let Thor do the same before he moved closer. 

"Ready?" He asked, waiting for consent before he shifted Thor back into a woman and led him out of the room. People were waiting expectantly in a large room down the hall, full of congratulations and wishes for a baby boy as Thor was pulled away to be examined. 

When Thor and the nurse came back she confirmed he had semen inside of him and then they were allowed to fill out the forms to have Loki released. In less than an hour, ten minutes used to sneak to Thor's room once Loki changed him back and retrieve Mjolnir, they were in the woods behind the castle, ready to leave.

"You're sure I'll be allowed to stay with you?" Loki asked, breathing deeply. It was odd to be on his own again, not constantly watched by guards.

"I'm certain" Thor assured him, wrapping an arm around his brother while he swung Mjolnir quickly, eventually lifting them off into the air.

\---

Loki closed his eyes as he was hugged close, and when he opened them again he was greeted with the sight of the familiar tower, now with a different name stated in big letters.

As they walked up to the door they were let inside immediately, and Loki assumed that Stark had some technology that knew it was Thor.

"My floor please, Jarvis" Thor spoke once they were in the elevator, and the elevator started moving immediately

"The elevator understands you?" Loki asked

He had not spent a lot of time in Midgard and wasn't used to the technology.

"No, I do" Jarvis spoke, making Loki jump slightly.

"I am an artificial intelligence created by Mr. Stark. I can control parts of the building. Welcome back, by the way, Thor" 

"Thank you, Jarvis" Thor said, smiling as he stepped off the elevator with Loki.

"You may ask Jarvis for a number of things, to know where someone is, to turn lights on or off, things like that" Thor explained. He still did not understand how Stark made such a creation, but he appreciated having it. 

"And he's just... always listening?" Loki asked nervously 

"I am" Jarvis confirmed "however, you may tell me when not to record audio, and to not tell anyone where you are. There are cameras but I will tell you when someone is watching over them, sir, to respect your privacy" 

Loki nodded, deciding that that was satisfactory. He realized now that he was holding Thor's hand, as the other squeezed his

"Mr. Stark ordered clothes, and necessities for Loki, you will find them in his room" Jarvis said, before going silent 

"My room?" Loki asked

Thor nodded "a room is cleared out for you. I.. I didn't want to assume that you would like to share." 

Loki bit his lip as he contemplated it, glancing around 

"I would like to share" he decided finally

"Wonderful!" Thor said happily "the room is still yours though, you may turn it into whatever you'd like."

Loki nodded, continuing to walk down the hall. Thor paused to show him what was in each room, setting down Mjolnir on a soft pillow beside the bed before they continued

"What is it?" Thor asked when he saw Loki giggling 

"It's just.. you have a pillow for the hammer. It's cute" Loki smiled 

"Well, I have learned my lesson about leaving it just anywhere. Many times I have been in trouble for leaving it on something someone needs" Thor chuckled, remembering the time he had left it on a pile of Tony's books, or once it had fallen into caps shield.

Thor led Loki to the room made up for him, glad to see the clothes and bags of things like toothpaste and a hairbrush. Loki hadn't owned anything of his own in jail. Thor was prepared for him to become a little attached to his belongings. 

"We should get cleaned up and then talk to everyone" Thor decided, letting go of Loki's hand to rub his back

"Jarvis, please ask the Avengers to meet us in the living room in an hour." 

"Yes sir"

Thor smiled and gave Loki a kiss on his hand before leaving, going to the bathroom. He didn't have a full shower, only washed off the sweat and bodily fluids before he dressed again and tied his hair back.

He gave Loki enough time to shower privately and choose his own clothes. It was important to Thor that he saw he had freedom, that this wasn't just another prison. He didn't want him to start feeling the need for approval for everything. 

Bruce had warned him of everything that could happen when someone was released from prison. The anxiety and attachment issues. 

Once Loki was ready he showed up at their bedroom door. Looking refreshed. His hair was wet but combed and he was wearing thin sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt.

"I'm ready" Loki said softly, nervous of how this would go. What if they changed their minds? Either because they remembered how horrible he was, or because he had married Thor. Where would he go?

Thor nodded and took Loki's hand again 

"Do not worry. The Avengers are understanding people" he promised, leading Loki back to the elevator 

Loki nodded, but was silent on the way down, holding Thor's hand tightly until they entered the living room. He let go before anyone could see though. Despite Thor telling him that gay marriages were accepted he couldn't quite believe it with how he had been treated his whole life. 

All eyes were on them as they entered, and Loki looked down to avoid making eye contact. He was not trying to assert his dominance now. 

"Good to see you Thor" Steve said, smiling brightly 

"You as well, brother Steve. All of you." 

Thor led Loki to a love seat where they sat down next to each other. Once seated Loki let himself glance around at everyone there. Feeling much too exposed, and embarrassed at how he must look.

He had seen them all individually at his cell, but this was different. He was not contained by a cell and they were still in no danger. Part of him felt weak.

"Are congratulations in order?" Bruce asked, making Thor smile, he could always count on him and Tony to surprise him with knowledge.

"We had Jarvis tell us the most likely scenarios" Tony explained "one being that you would be married" 

Thor smiled "he was correct. Loki and I were married this morning" he said without fear, despite how Loki tensed next to him

Loki looked down, arms wrapping around himself as he prepared for what usually came next when his... preference was mentioned. Words coated in disgust, beatings, slurs. Though none of it came. Everyone in the group lit up, saying their congratulations loudly and a few who were close clapping Thor on the shoulder.

"That's great. Will you have a ceremony?" Pepper asked, before looking at Loki "my name is Pepper, by the way" 

Loki nodded and at that time the other person he didn't know spoke

"And I'm Rhodey" he said

"Pleasure to meet you both" Loki said, and he tried to mean it. He was sure they were nice people, he was just stressed, even since they had all accepted their marriage. This had to turn on him somehow, didn't it?

"As for a ceremony, we might have one. I'll be sure to tell you if we decide to" Thor assured her, knowing she would love to plan such a thing.

"They just want to see the fire" Loki joked quietly, trying to ease his own nervousness

"Fire?" Clint asked

"They don't have the fire at weddings here" Thor explained "they have different customs"

This was interesting enough that Loki looked up, assessing if he was being lied to before he looked at Thor.

"How do they know if they're soulmates, then?" He asked

Thor was the one who looked confused now "I'm.. not sure, Loki. Is there a ritual to find one's soulmate in your world?" 

"Ha, soulmates?" Natasha asked "like.. fairytale stuff?"

For a long minute, nobody said anything, two husbands deciding if everyone else was serious and everyone else doing the same about them.

"Perhaps on earth they simply have not found a way to tell as of yet" Thor shrugged

"Soulmates aren't real, though" Clint said slowly

"They most certainly are" Thor said, confusion still in his voice

"They are not typically found, but on Asgard there is a ritual performed at weddings to tell if two people are soulmates, or at least if they will be happy" Thor explained

"Are you joking?" Steve asked

"Of course not. It's a very sacred thing" Thor said, still not understanding everyone's confusion. Could people here really not believe in soulmates?

"And.. were you two soulmates?" Pepper asked with a smile, looking hopeful

Loki smiled back, something about the girl made him feel a bit at peace, perhaps it was because he hadn't met her before. He hadn't seen what she looked like angry at him or afraid.

"We are" he confirmed 

"Well at least that makes sense" Tony hummed "gonna need a bit more proof before I can believe you have fire that knows if you're meant to be, but I can at least believe that you're soulmates, with the way Thor never shuts up about you" he told Loki 

They had all talked when Thor left and decided that it was important to make Loki feel welcome. They would all make an effort to talk to him when they saw him. 

Both Asgardians blushed profusely, but Loki did chuckle

Thor let it slide because he could see it was an attempt to make Loki fell better, and it was technically true. He enjoyed telling people of his good memories with Loki.

After they had all calmed down a little Bruce leaned forward, a look of seriousness on his face. 

"Starting tomorrow a psychologist will come to talk to you two times a week. You can have the sessions in your room instead of having to go to them." Bruce hesitated before speaking "you need to take this seriously. S.H.I.E.L.D isn't exactly thrilled that you're staying here as a free man so they will want to see an attempt at progress"

Loki nodded slowly "I'll take it seriously. I promise." He said, and he meant that. He would talk to this psychologist every day if it meant he got to live with Thor. 

Things got less serious after that, everyone just talking like friends until they watched a movie. Loki was entranced the whole time.

He had seen video and movies of course, but when had he had the time to sit down and appreciate it? It was like seeing something new.

He got the feeling his perspective would change a lot in the following months.

\--

Within a week Thor noticed that Loki was starting to feel more comfortable. He couldn't say if the therapy was working, but he was definitely better around the Avengers.

Loki had hidden on their floor for the first few days, but as he saw that nobody here hated him it became easier to be around them.

By the third week, Thor was used to walking downstairs for breakfast to find Loki talking to pepper or Bruce, smiling the whole time.

He had self harmed a couple times since getting there, but he was trying to stop, and the happiness of having friends helped.

"Where did you get those?" Thor asked one morning, referring to a large pile of books as he got himself a glass of water. He had just gotten back from his morning run with Steve.

"These are from Bruce and Tony," Loki said, pointing to the books on science and biology. "Pepper," about the romance and adventure novels. "And Clint" he smiled, showing Thor the comic books. They didn't have such a thing in Asgard. 

Thor smiled, letting Loki show him the ones he was excited about reading. He knew how much his brother loved reading and was glad the others had given him their books to read. Thor wasn't sure how many times he had already been to the bookstore with Loki. Not that he didn't enjoy it each and every time. He loved watching how excited his husband become when he found a book he wanted to read.

"That's wonderful" he hummed, leaning down to kiss him softly before he walked away to touch Tony's arm 

"May I speak with you for a moment?" He asked, smiling when Tony nodded and he was led out of the room. Because he didn't want to risk Loki hearing they went all the way to Tony's lab.

"What's up, Thor? Everything okay?" Tony asked, more worried that something was wrong with Loki. Over the weeks he had grown slightly fond of him. He was smart and perhaps one day he could be a valuable asset in his lab, or out in the field. 

"Yes, everything is grand" Thor said sincerely, he had never been happier

"Okay, good. What do you need then?" Tony asked, sitting at his workbench 

"You often wear jewelry, correct?" Thor asked

Tony shrugged, glancing down at himself and chuckling. Even in the early morning he did have a few rings on.

"Yeah, what about it?" 

"I have noticed that it is customary to give a spouse a ring in Midgard. I would like to purchase one for Loki, but I'm not sure if where to get it" Thor explained 

Thing intrigued Tony, and he stood up once more, smiling like he did when he thought he had a great idea 

"I'll tell you what, I'll make your rings! Specially made, free of charge" he grinned

Thor raised his eyebrows, having been expecting to simply be told the names of a few stores he could buy rings from.

"You would do that for us?" Thor asked, touched by the sentiment

"Why not? Your wedding ring should be special. I'll get right on with making them, Thunder!"

And true to his word, only a few days later was he given the rings. They were beautiful, more than he could have wished for. The outside had pretty interweaving designs, which on the inside of each had the other's name written in old Norse. Of course Tony couldn't only make a ring, without adding some flair. When worn, he could run his finger over the ring and feel Loki's heartbeat.

Thor hugged Tony for what must have been five minutes, telling him how much he appreciated it before he skipped off happily to show the rest of the team. He would wait until he was alone with Loki to give it to him, but he had to tell somebody!

That night Loki cried on his shoulder, running his finger over the metal continuously. He had never felt so loved, so extremely cared for. Who else would have thought to do this for him?

The ring became his most valued possession, and he vowed to never remove it for as long as he lived. He spent the next few weeks showing it to everyone, sometimes twice, and everyone indulged him because it was the first time they could truly see how happy he could be. 

It was the first time that Loki himself realized that he was getting better, when without trying to he didn't think of self harming for almost a week. 

It was the best realization he had ever made.  
\---  
\- five months later -

 

"You need to clean that up, Loki" Natasha spoke softly, not letting herself get angry.

"No, I do not!" Loki yelled

He had dropped a glass, accidentally of course, but the noise had scared him and the second someone noticed his fear it changed to anger. His therapist would say he was angry with himself for being afraid and taking it out on anyone who brought attention to it, but he couldn't be bothered to try the breathing exercises or to step away.

"It's okay, Loki, we're not upset with you" Pepper promised. It was only her and pepper in the kitchen.

If he had been alone surely he would have calmed down and cleaned it up soon, but now he felt furious, and was spitting insults at Natasha until Thor stepped into the kitchen, having been alerted of his meltdown by Jarvis.

"Loki" Thor boomed "do not speak to them like that" 

"I will do whatever I want to!" Loki yelled 

"You will not, you will apologize and then clean your mess up" Thor said calmly, knowing better than to lose his own temper. He had to be the voice of reason because he loved Loki enough to help him. Loki didn't have mood swings or meltdowns nearly as much as he used to, but when they hit they hit hard.

"You cannot tell me what to do! You do not own me!" Loki shouted, standing still as if he moved he may step on glass

Thor sighed and stepped forward, avoiding the glass expertly as he picked Loki up and took him to the opposite side of the kitchen before setting him down. It was best to get him away from things that could hurt him.

Loki hit at his chest the whole time though, and before he could speak again Loki shoved him, leaving Thor to only see one more option.

He instructed the ladies to not clean the mess before he pulled Loki to the elevator. He had gotten stronger in his time here, but Thor was still easily able to pull him along and keep him still until they reached the top floor, their floor. 

Thor pulled Loki to the bed and sat down, pushing him over his lap 

"Stop! Let me up!" Loki screamed

Thor didn't enjoy doing this, but he knew the pain would help calm Loki in the end, and it would keep him from hurting himself to know he had already taken a punishment. 

"Loki," Thor said calmly "I intend to give you twenty spanks, for yelling at Natasha and Pepper, and another five for shoving me" he explained. There was always a reason, he never did this just because he could, unless it was for fun when they had sex.

"No!" Loki said, still struggling until Thor spanked him hard, making him yelp.

"Count" Thor instructed softly

"I will not" Loki whispered defiantly

"You will, or we will start over" Thor explained, spamming him once more.

It took a few more before he saw how Loki's mood changed, going from furious to shy as he started to count.

He was crying softly by the time he stuttered out the last number, and climbed out of Thor's lap to hide under the blankets while Thor spoke.

"Once you're ready, we will go downstairs and you can apologize to the ladies and clean up the glass" Thor said, touching Loki's hand gently before the other pulled his away.

Thor let him, leaving for just a moment to grab lotion before he sat on the bed and pulled the covers back

"You don't need to hide, lover. The punishment is over and you took it well. I love you" he said, helping Loki get on his back before he started rubbing the lotion into his red bottom.

"I love you too" Loki hiccuped, calming down slowly while Thor rubbed the lotion into the hand prints "I-I'm sorry"

"I accept" Thor hummed, leaning down to kiss Loki's shoulder blade.

He was silent for a minute before his fingertips trailed the lotion up Loki's back, rubbing it in gently to the old whipping scars 

"Isn't it time to heal these, Loki? You have suffered enough. You didn't deserve to be punished at the time, let alone the rest of your life." Thor whispered "you're such a good boy. Don't you believe me when I tell you that this pain isn't deserved?"

After a few minutes of rubbing the lotion in Thor noticed the redness fading, and as the scars slowly healed into unmarked pale skin, he knew everything would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone enjoyed this :)


End file.
